John Sweetman
Facebook and other means of social networking are proving to be very popular in many segments of the population. Some people have recently raised significant concerns about the abuse of Facebook by predators. Others are apprehensive that on-line Facebook relationships can become ineffective substitutes for real-life relationships. This series of articles explores the popularity, use and abuse of Facebook and suggests guidelines for the effective and healthy handling of Facebook.
The Attraction of Facebook
Scientific investigation has shown that authentic emotional connection is important for healthy personal development. Connection makes us happy and secure, and disconnection makes us unhappy and unstable. Our search for connection and community (or “home”) is inherent in our nature.
We live in a world where connection is becoming more difficult through our busyness, our social dislocation, and our pace of life mainly driven by developing technology. It’s hard to find space where we can easily connect and build community. Then along come mobile phones, social networking and, in particular, Facebook. Suddenly, connection is relatively simple and efficient. We can easily and quickly connect with others. The possibility of community has suddenly expanded exponentially.
Facebook is impacting the world. In 2009, five million people signed up to Facebook every week. In March 2009, Facebookers were using the site for up to three billion minutes a day. In March 2010, Facebook passed Google as the most visited site on the web. Facebooking is not limited to younger people. In 2008, the fastest-growing population on Facebook was 55 year old women.
One attraction of Facebook is the human need for community – a sense of place and belonging, what we see as “home.” Rice (2009, 76-84) suggests that there are four homelike qualities that Facebook effectively facilitates.
1. Home is where we keep all the stuff that matters to us. On Facebook we can store our pictures, declare our values and beliefs, and share the things that are close to our hearts. Our “wall” is our place.
2. Home is wherever we find family. Facebook facilitates quick and easy homelike moments with family and friends from anywhere in the world. It’s like we can gather all the people closest to us together and have access to them all the time.
3. Home is where we feel safe because we can control the environment. Facebook has provided users with a significant amount of control over their digital world. We can write status updates or speak through private messages. We can “confirm” or “ignore” others in a way that is not always possible in the real world.
4. Home is where we can just be ourselves. The ability to feel okay and accepted for who we are is a clear indicator of home. Facebook provides opportunity to say and do whatever we like and still be accepted for it, without any interference from the outside. Facebook dishes out plenty of unconditional positive regard. We are appreciated and accepted for ourselves.
At its best, Facebook provides us with a safe environment to grow connections and build community with old and sometimes new friends. We can keep people close no matter where they live. We can connect with others regularly. This can be of great benefit in a relatively isolated, time-poor society.
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Nancy Beach’s book, with the exception of chapter seven, is intended to encourage women through her own unique challenges and joys as a female leader and teacher for 30 years. Her message is the “fundamental belief that the Holy Spirit did not distribute the gifts according to gender; both women and men should be free to express their God-given abilities in the local church.” (p16) God did not make a mistake in giving women the gifts of leadership or teaching. She urges leaders to have a clear position on women in leadership that can be “articulated, defended and advocated,” but her intent is not to unpack the biblical texts. (p16) Additional study resources are provided in an appendix.
Book review by Tim Challies via his blog 
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